I have discovered the secret of life,
the purpose of existence.
I have cracked the big question,
I know why we’re here.
I will tell you, but first,
you have to tell me your deepest secret,
show me your favorite movie,
put on your favorite song.
I promise I’ll tell you,
but you have to take off your clothes first,
you must dance with me,
and you ought to have my babies.
I know it’s hard to believe at this point,
but I swear by everything I hold sacred,
I will tell you,
you have to go to war with me,
and you have to lose someone you love.
You must wake up at four in the morning,
with dry eyes and tear stained pillows.
One more request and I will tell you.
You have to give your belongings away,
maybe give an organ too,
then, lastly and most importantly,
you must perish and be no more.