May 15th

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And here it is
the sunshine bursting from clouds
the light breaking through drapes
the beams sneaking out of cracks

The eventual morning
the awaited spring
the flock of birds
flying away

It is here
the moment of clarity
the transitional point
I had been anticipating
every second
I was awake

I want to
hold this moment
and remember it
whenever I think
it would never come again

Sometimes I forget
but I’ve been here before
I’ll be here again
and I’ll live for feelings like this
freedom from burdens
evaporation of feelings
turning of pages

I didn’t turn the page dear
I ripped the page off
like you were never there
like we were never in love

You know me
and my extremity
and my love for destruction
and freedom

I’m sorry that you couldn’t handle me
I’m sorry that you didn’t think you were enough
I’m sorry you thought I deserved better
and I was too much
but most of all
I’m sorry you were right all along.

Some nights I kick myself
for taking so long to draw the curtains
but I stop and convince myself that
I’m only human and

As humans, we’re always so suspended in our existence, in the moment
we can’t comprehend the ephemeral nature of life
we think the pain will be eternal
we think the love will never stop
we seem to forget that
only the sun burns forever
and we will eventually see the light, always

So here we are
I’ve lifted the blinds
I’ve opened my eyes
to this dawn
and it feels like
I’ve been born again.

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