Sometimes I Feel Sad

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Some nights I lie down and feel the weight of the world
it’s heaver than what my eyelids are used to

One of the few things that make feel me sad is life.

I think about how
we grow out of versions of ourselves
and the people and memories we leave behind with them
Humans can move on from anything
and everything
No matter how impossible it seems right now
you will get over it
Because our feelings are ephemeral
and so are our thoughts
and so are our lives
Some steps taken forward make me sad
make me reminisce for what I once had
but I know
we have to move on from best things
to move on from the worst
we have to forget good memories
to not remember bad
It’s a two way contract
and there’s no cheat code

Being aware of something doesn’t diminish your feelings towards it.

The spinning of earth makes me sad
the passing of time
and the falling of leaves
watching trees grow thicker trunks
and children learn to talk

Because every step forward means we’re closer to the end.

I’m sad about all the friends I’ve forgotten
and all the memories that have faded
I’m sad about all the people I have grown out of
and all the edge I’ve lost
I’m sad about all the versions
of myself that have stopped existing
and all the lovers I have moved on from
I’m sad about the sisters I rarely see
and the brother that used to live with me
I’m sad about the friends I sit with distantly
as I feel myself growing out of their company

The temporary nature of things makes me sad
and the fact that
nothing
and no one
has been permanent in my life
so far.

 

 

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