I’ve let my heart freeze,
I banished it to Antartica.
That was the only way it could survive.
I stopped writing for a while,
Afraid of the words that might slip.
I stopped talking altogether,
Afraid I’d choke.
No suns can melt my heart,
No heat would suffice.
No hells could scorch enough,
To burn away my ice.
I’d always seen things the way they are.
I’d always known.
I’d known selfishness,
I’d known greed,
I’d known hypocrisy.
This is my time to start a new life.
This time I’ll try to be normal.
This time I’ll try to be less understanding.
This time I’ll be ready.
It feels more like a dream than reality to me,
Everything I went through.
A very strange, painful dream.
The kind that wakes you up with a sob, not a scream.
I guess I’m lucky.
I guess I’m smart.
I didn’t let anything break my heart.
I was born with a fire that I won’t give up.
I won’t give it up even if I had to watch it burn me alive.
That eternal fire that won’t go out.
That fire is nowhere near my heart.
It’ll have to be that way until I’m ready.
I’ll have to live with fire and ice until one wins.
I don’t know how long it’ll take but I know, no matter what,
I’ll forbid life to smother my flame.