Delusion

 

The first time I saw you, I gave up on falling for anyone else.
And I hated you for that.
And I kept thinking, “What’s this disgusting heartbeat I get when I see you?”
Everything was simple, until you came along.
I chose destruction, like the suicidal mess I am.
You’re the worst.

It’s like I gave myself a death sentence when I fell for you.

I know what’s wrong with me.

I can’t admit that I’m in love with you to anyone. Not even myself.
So I lock you up in my mind,
Until you go mad and start boiling,
gnashing and tearing my mind apart.
But I still lock you up in the bloody mess I have created,
because I can’t breathe you, you’re a secret.
A secret that could destroy me.

Write on my grave, sometimes, religion is a person.
A person that’s as dangerous as any religion.

You’ll never find out, you’ll see no signs,
because I don’t love like people do.
I’ll love you in silence and pretense.
I’ll love you and tell you how terrible you are.
I’m great at deception.
You’ll never find out.

The day you find out will be the day I set you free.
Stay a prisoner. It’s not bad in there is it?
Stay a prisoner so I won’t have to kill you.
Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.

I choose to be blind.
Sometimes we choose to ignore the obvious and dream.
I’ll dream of you dear.

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