Destroy this never-ending hope inside me.

 

I wore my expectations as a burden around my neck and ran all the way there.

I had hope that this incidence would remind me of how I felt last year.

Last year, and the year before that, and…

It reminded me why I was bitter.

This night reminded me of my anger, my insecurities, and fears.

It isolated me.

How much can I take before I break down in declarations of love and hatred?
Declarations of resentment.

And this never-ending hope inside me doesn’t fade away.

And your voice in my mind doesn’t go away.

And my blind eyes refuse to see the way,
Games are played on my shoulder.

So I let my eyes memorize you,
But you interrupt.

I let my heart want you,
But you don’t want.

I let my hands hold you,
But you let go.

You walk away,
Like you always do.

You coward,
You infuriating quitter.

I tried to trust my heart,
First and last time.

I tried to try again,
Not worth a dime.

I tried be perfect,
I tried to rhyme,
But what’s the use?

She was the last straw.
All those before her were straws too.

I go mad.

I destroy everything I own.
But in destruction there is freedom.

I free myself and let stories unfold.
Let the minds stretch every crease.

And I laugh with a tight throat.
Slap the hope out of me, please.

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