I Don’t Want To Love You Anymore

Please don’t let me crumble on your doorstep ,
Please don’t let me fall to my knees.
Please help me keep my dignity,
Don’t look at me.

Look at me! God! I’m a mess.
Sobbing,
Over myself and you.

Why do I feel delusional?
What is wrong with me?
I can’t breathe.

I feel physical pain,
The further I get away from you.
Pain in my lungs,
Pain in my mind.

Shaky hands,
Dark eyes,
Tied tongue.

I am delusional,
I have always been.
I live in my mind,
Around I spin.

I don’t want to give signs of:
Desperation,
Need,
Weakness.

How can I give up,
When I look at you
Like you hung the moon?

Did you hang the moon?
Because, I go and light a star
for your lips every night.

I hate every name you’ve said;
I hate everyone you’ve met.
I’m selfish,
And childish,
And cruel.

I tie ropes to your letters,
And hang myself off of them.
It’s a ritual to endure the pain.

What have I done to deserve this?
What crime led me to you?
What kind of god’s wrath are you?

“I love you,”s hide behind my tongue,
Ready to tumble out as soon as I speak.
But I bite my tongue until I taste blood.
Need oozes out of me, I reek.

My tears are yours.
And we can share ,
My lips and hands.

Forever and ever, threatens the pain,
To last,
And the feelings,
Forever and ever.

You’re the dagger stabbed in my heart.
But I live everyday,
Pretending it’s not there.

You’re the nail digging in my foot,
I try to ignore the pain of as I step.

Attraction is weird.
But love is awful,
Love is painful,
When it’s mute.

I guess I’ll have to live
The rest of my life,
Buried in your stars.

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