Endless Gaze


And every time our eyes meet,
I see how we meet in different universes,
I see how we crash into each other in every galaxy.

When our eyes meet, time stops.
And the earth stops spinning and my lungs stutter and my brain explodes.

And I see stars,
I see stars in your eyes,
And I see galaxies,
And I see pasts and futures,
All in seconds.

When our eyes meet, I don’t blink,
I don’t break the ephemeral connection I have with gods.

I once saw us meet as demons, I was evil and so were you,
But I saw myself see myself as I am now seeing myself.

When our eyes meet I feel immortal but weak.
I feel like the inches between our eyes are nothing but vacuum.
I see everything turn into antimatter and the only matter that is left is us,
And the only thing that matters is us.

When our eyes meet, the suns of the universes shine together and burn everything.
The galaxies align and we travel through time.
And we fall into black holes that are our own eyes.

It takes divine energy to break our held gazes,
And I forget what language I speak,
And call you by millions of names that are all yours.

Then, your voice brings me back to the present reality.
Because your voice was wired with a unique wavelength.
Your voice was wired at a frequency that makes my ears bleed in happiness.
Your voice is the only sound I recognize when I’m dead.
Your voice is the music that keeps me from boredom when my essence travels through universes.

You are the only familiarity I know.
The only thing I can remember after eons of years.
The only thing that’s immune to my memory loss.
The only thing that is with me in every lifetime.

Because through every lifetime we somehow manage to find each other.
And after all of these lifetimes I still feel like I don’t have enough time,
I don’t have enough time to kiss you.
So in every lifetime I kiss you with hurry and urgency and fire.
And I’ve been hoarding kisses for ages but they’re not enough.

I want to fuse with you,
To be bound to you,
I want you to be a part of me,
And I, a part of you.

In some lifetimes you die before me,
In others, I, before you.
In some lifetimes I kill you.

In some lifetimes we don’t end up together, and those lifetimes are the saddest.
In those lifetimes I don’t taste kisses the way I should.
In those lifetimes I don’t break.

And through every lifetime, our eyes are windows to our minds.
Our eyes are the plot holes in every universe’s script.
Our eyes are magnets, stars, oceans.
Our eyes are our damnation.


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